jok jok jok

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jok jok jok

Post  neil patrick on Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:30 am

Anak: Tay mag-ingat kayo sa DANK TRAK..


Tatay: anong dantrak??


Anak: yung pong trak na sampu ang gulong na karga buhangin…


Tatay: hindi dantrak yan… “TEN MILLER!!”

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Re: jok jok jok

Post  amfufu! on Sun Aug 03, 2008 12:38 am

lol!
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HOLDAPER

Post  jeio05 on Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:00 pm

Dalawang holdaper sa bangko….
Holdaper #1: Yehey! Mayaman na tayo!
Holdaper #2: Bilangin mo na!
Holdaper: Gago! Alam mo namang mahina ako sa math. Abangan na lang natin sa balita kung magkano!

Laughing lol!

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Post  jeio05 on Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:04 pm

QUESTION: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

1.KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
2.ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
3.KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
4.SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion. We were justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
5.HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
6.DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
7.MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
8.FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
9.RICHARD NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
10. MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
11. SIGMUND FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
12. CHARLES DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected and evolved over time in such a way that they are now genetically endowed with the capabilities required to cross roads.
13. ALBERT EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. (Duh?!?)
14. ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
15. ERAP: Ang media ang may kasalanan diyan!
16. MIRIAM DEFENSOR-SANTIAGO : " Aha! I know it! That chicken crossed the road to provoke me. I move to permanently hold in contempt that chicken. I request for a restraining order, your honor, so that the chicken would not be able to cross the road again!"
17. RAMON REVILLA: "I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng 1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga! Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh...Pero huwag nyo akong tanungin kung ilang kilo ang manok na nagcross ng road. Eh, di ko nakilo eh. I guess, takot syang pakilo. Baka kulang sya ng 96 grams. In short, kulang sya ng isang kilo."
18. EMMA LIM: Para po uminom ng iced tea, your honor!
19. CHAVIT SINGSON: Eh, nililito nyo lang po ako, your honor. Di ko alam kung bakit nagcross yun ng road. Wala naman sa ledger ko kung bakit. Nililito nyo lang po ako. Nililito nyo lang po talaga ako.
20. CLARISSA OCAMPO: It crossed the road to go to the office of, I am sorry, Mr. Estelito Mendoza.
21. ESTELITO MENDOZA: Whether I will quit as a defense lawyer of the president or not, shall depend upon the decision of the president himself, not the crossing of the road by the chicken.
22. RAUL ROCO: It is a noble profession to be a chicken and to cross that road!
23. CHIEF JUSTICE HILARIO DAVIDE: Unless there is an objection, the chicken can cross that road.


bounce
lol!

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para sa mga pokeR adik!!

Post  jeio05 on Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:11 pm

Guro: Iho, nakita ko ang kuya mo na naglalaro ng tong-its sa kanto. Pinapabayaan na niya ang kanyang pag-aaral. Sana di mo siya tularan at pagbutihin mo ang pag-aaral mo.
Juan: Wag po kayong mag-alala ma’am, di ko naman po pinapabayaan ang pag-aaral ko eh.
Guro: Talaga! Alam mo bang magbilang?
Juan: Opo!
Guro: Umpisaham mo nga
Juan: One…Two…Three…Four…Five…Six…Seven…Eight…Nine…Ten!
Guro: Magaling! Kaya mo bang ituloy?
Juan: Opo!
Guro: Very Good! Sige nga. (Tuwang-tuwa)
Juan: Jack…Queen..King!!!!

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ano raw?

Post  jeio05 on Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:11 pm

Ano ang tawag sa

Lalaking taga Hawaii?

Hawaiano

eh yung babae?

Hawaiana

eh ang anak?

Pina!

Ano ang tawag sa

Lalaking taga America?

Americano

eh yung babae?

Americana

eh yung anak?

pantalon ang kanilang anak!

Ano ang tawag sa

Lalaking Taga Alaska?

Eskimo

eh yung babae?

Eskima

eh yung anak?

Eksema!

Ano ang tawag sa

Lalaking taga Bicol?

Bicolano

eh yung babae?

Bicolana

eh yung anak?

Bukol-Bukol na!

Ano ang tawag sa

Lalaking Taga Laguna?

Laguneno

eh yung babae?

Lagunena

eh yung anak?

Longganisa!

Ano ang tawag sa

Lalaking Taga Makati?

Makatino

eh yung babae?

Makatina

eh yung anak?

eh Kamutin mo na!

Ano ang tawag sa

Lalaking Taga Navotas?

Navotasno

eh yung babae?

Navotasna

eh yung anak?
Ay Maluwang na!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Flag this post as off-topic

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ano daw???

Post  jeio05 on Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:13 pm

Q: Ano ang sabi ng bangus nang mamamatay na siya?

A: I'm daing!


Q: Ano ang sabi ng isda nang hiwain siya sa gitna?

A: I'm tuna (two na).


Q: Ano ang tawag kapag sinuot mo ang kanang sapatos sa kaliwang paa at ang kaliwang sapatos sa kanang paa?

A: Malicious (mali shoes).


Q: Ano ang sinabi ni Satanas nang ipanganak AKO?

A: "Lintek! Isa na namang anghel ang ipinanganak."


Q: Ano naman ang sinabi niya nang ipanganak KA?

A: "Oh, no! Hindi puwede ito! Ayoko pang mag retire!" : t o n g u e :


Q: Sino ang unang arkitekto?

A: Si Eba, kasi siya ang unang nagpatayo.


Q: Sino ang unang estudyante?

A: Si Adan, kasi siya ang unang pumasok.


Q: Paano gumawa ng gloves sa China?

A: Sinasawsaw ng mga Intsik ang kanilang mga kamay sa latex, maglalakad-lakad hanggang matuyo at aalisin nila, pagkatapos ay gloves na.


Q: Paano naman sila gumawa ng condoms?

A: Ganoon din.


Q: Anong sasabihin mo kapag may nakasalubong ka ng isang multong may tatlong ulo?

A: Magandang gabi, magandang gabi, magandang gabi.


Q: Anong English word ang nag-uumpisa sa F at nagtatapos sa K at parang pagkain na rin ang iisipin mo?

A: Fork, ano pa ba?


Q: Ano ang pagkakatulad ng sex at insurance?

A: Habang tumatanda ka, tumataas ang presyo.


Q: Paano mo malalaman ang kasarian ng cell phone?

A: Kapag may nakalawit na antenna, lalaki 'yun. Kapag wala, siguradong babae ang cell phone.


Q: Paano mo makikilala ang mga head nurse sa hospital?

A: Sila 'yung puro may sugat sa tuhod.


Q: Kailan tumatayo ang kanibal mula sa hapag kainan?

A: Kapag nakain nang lahat ang kasamahan.


Q: Ano ang pagkakatulad ni Winnie the Pooh at John the Baptist?

A: Iisa ang ina nila. Kita mo, iisa ang middle name nila.


Q: What's the difference between a kiss, a car, and a monkey?

A: A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear, a monkey is you my dear.


Q: What's the difference between Prince William and a Honda Civic?

A: Prince William is a Tudor while a Civic is a Sedan.


Q: What will happen to a wooden car with a wooden wheel and a wooden engine?

A: It wooden start.


Q: Bakit Intsik ang kinikidnap hindi bumbay?

A: Kasi Pag Bumbay, Ang bayaran ng ransom hulugan pa.



Q: Why is breastmilk still best for babies and men?

A: Because it's fresh, Contains antibodies for protection against infection, and it comes in a very attractive container!


Q: Anong mangyayari kay tweety kapag uminom siya ng Viagra?

A: Magiging Big Bird siya!


Q: Ano ang difference ng bading at cannibal?

A: Ang Cannival kumakain ng ka-uri, Ang Bading kumakain ng ka-ari!!!

Very Happy Razz
lol!

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Re: jok jok jok

Post  donrobert on Wed Oct 14, 2009 3:18 pm

nakakamis ang mga knock knock jokes... Very Happy

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Re: jok jok jok

Post  cluezo on Mon Oct 18, 2010 8:43 am

can anyone translate this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0s4xL4IZlg8

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Re: jok jok jok

Post  cyborg on Fri Apr 01, 2011 2:01 am

Kasabihan ng mga nanay sa lasengerong anak! "Aanhin mo pa ang alak kung sakin palang ay tatamaan kana!" lolz

Nagpapaantok while playing Java Games from here -->Java Games ng nakita ko tong thread na to lolz.

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Re: jok jok jok

Post  RebeccaBlack on Sun Apr 10, 2011 3:40 am

OT:

@cyborg
Haha ! I do the same thing Very Happy
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Re: jok jok jok

Post  fharz on Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:03 pm

wow oo nga nkkamis tlaga ug mga jokes na knock knock whos there.. meron bah kau bago? hehehe

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Joke time

Post  lendingwanted.com on Thu Sep 20, 2012 3:52 pm

Haha. I haven't heard nor read these jokes. These jokes are cool and very funny (for me). I'd love to read and hear jokes like this. Unique but funny. Keep it up. I hope, when I visit again this forum, I will see new jokes again. Smile

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Re: jok jok jok

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